PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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