Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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