I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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