You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
