Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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