i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
