The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
two words: eviction party
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
