my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Is it because I queefed?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
