Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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