Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
