Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I accidentally burped into my bong.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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