if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
