it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
