Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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