Pappa wants mamma naked
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
