Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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