who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
