yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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