I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
