I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
