i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
