We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
