it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
