Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
