I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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