literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
