Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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