You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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