talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
