I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
