What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize