So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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