Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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