you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
