that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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