Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
