I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
