Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
In America we eat man semen.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
