So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
