you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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