i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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