...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
