I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
