Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
