we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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