oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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