do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
