operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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