yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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