Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You are a genius and a whore.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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