Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
