i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
