You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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