Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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