Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
