Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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