So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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