I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize