Got a toothbrush?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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