Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
