Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
