I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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