I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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