God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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