girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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