We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
