How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
