I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
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