I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
