She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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